We’ve all been there. You ask a child the same familiar question: “What did you do at school?”.
The answer? A shrug. A blank stare. Or the classic: I don’t know.
Here’s the good news: this response is completely normal. Young children aren’t being secretive or dismissive—their brains are still learning how to remember, sequence, and retell events. Memory and recall take time to develop.
So, how can we help? With the right supports, we can turn those “I don’t knows” into meaningful conversations that build language skills and strengthen memory.
Memory & Recall: A Complex Skill
When we ask children to tell us about their day, we’re asking them to:
- Remember what happened several hours ago
- Organize those events into a sequence
- Find the words to describe it all
Let’s consider those 3 things for a moment. That’s a lot of cognitive power at work — especially for preschoolers and elementary age. Memory takes time to develop. Recall takes time to develop. And putting both together in a story? That’s a big skill for little learners. This continued development is why broad questions like, “What did you do today?” often feel overwhelming to little communicators. This is especially true in instances of delays in development or accompanying disorders.
So when a child says, “I don’t know,” it’s simply their brain saying, “I need some help with this.”
Visuals & Functional Communication
To support memory and communication, I’ve created a resource bundle that includes simple tools you can use right away:
1. “What Did You Do Today?” Visual Chart
We are no longer relying on their memory. Instead, kids can look at pictures of everyday school activities—art, music, outside play, eating, reading, and more—and use them as cues to tell others about their day.
👉 Example: Instead of asking, “What did you do today?” try, “Did you do art or play outside?”
2. Home Visual Schedule
We know that predictable routines make kids feel secure. When transitions are smoother at home, they’re better able to communicate about their day. The visual schedule included helps reduce overwhelm and supports kids who need extra structure in preparing for their day.
3. Social Story: Going to School
Going to school can feel big and sometimes scary for children. This simple social story prepares them for what to expect, builds confidence, and gives them language to talk about school routines.
FUNctional Communication
Asking about the school day isn’t just about getting answers—it’s about teaching children how to recall, organize, and share. Most importantly, it’s FUN! Working on these skills now will support children’s communication for years to come.
Ready to try it with your child or share with families you support? Grab the full Going to School bundle and start turning “what did you do today” conversations into deeper connections.
